Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
