And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
