It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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