Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
ok first of all what the fuck
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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