the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
