Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
