What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
