Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
then he tried to convert me to islam
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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