"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i came on her dog
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
