My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
