But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
