Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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