Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
