its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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