took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
