Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
