i don't like sucking hair
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
