Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
