I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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