people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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