i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
