I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
