he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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