Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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