I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
