There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
