First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You are the jesus of drinking
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
