dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
