I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
