As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
