apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
