Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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