god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
