flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
