I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
