I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
