awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize