i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
