I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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