You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
