i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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