Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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