So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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