OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
