I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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