worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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