think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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