Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
