can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Drunk is not a location!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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