i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
well you can't waste a boner
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
