I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
