Whod you bang
this beer tastes like vomit already
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
