We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
