Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
