The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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