I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
