Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
