When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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