Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize