At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
And then he peed in my hair
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