yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
