Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
