So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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