she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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