Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
