Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
