I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
