see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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