they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
