just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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