similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
