Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
