Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
