I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize