My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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