why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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