"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
