I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
